I'm going to do my best to put the discombobulated thoughts in my head into some coherent, hopefully not too rambling, commentary.
I think the world's ideas (and by this I am including many, if not most, Christians) of God is tremendously distorted in many ways. I want to really look at two of these in this post. These are two concepts that God has revealed to me that I have been one who has distorted them.
1) The first is "What is God's will for my life?" I have been very guilty of asking this, praying about this, and even studying various titles in an attempt to answer this exact question. However, Blackabay, Blackabay, and King, in Experiencing God, say this is not the right question. The say the "right" question is "What is God's will?" I'm not one to take Biblical commentary as gospel, so I really didn't take much from this at first reading. I did, however, note that it was contrary to many other titles and studies. After continuing in the study for more than a week now, the original question is extremely self focused. It takes the importance away from God and redirects it to oneself. No wonder I am much more comfortable with that question.
As I begin to meditate on the question "What is God's will?," it requires that I look outside of myself. It becomes very clear how it all ties in with being a servant to others, seeing God at work, and humbling oneself...literally, becoming "the least of these." This is a hard one and I don't expect a change in myself over night. I think this means "dying to self" on a daily basis.
2) The second "distorted" belief comes in Day 3 with the idea of being a servant. I have been mulling around "Christian service" for 6 months or more now. Janie mentions it often, Richard has asked Tim for a list of service opportunities within the schools.... I, at times, would feel guilty because of my apparent lack of service when compared to others.
Several things have occurred to me today:
A. I know that I canNOT compare myself to others. God did NOT create me to be like, Janie, or Michelle, or anyone else, for that matter. He created me for the work He has prepared for ME! If I go back to that first of idea of "What is God's will?," then I know that if I seek after His will, I will adjust my life for that work.
B. "Don't just do something. Stand there!" This really is the distorted idea of Day 3. It is direct opposition to the phrase "Don't just stand there; do something!" I think the idea of servanthood is many times phrased with the second word choice. In reality, though, if you're relationship with God, the Father, isn't right, then doing something may not be what God wants, approves of, or even leads in.
So, what do I take from all of this. I was really worried that I wasn't "serving" enough. It isn't it a contest, or a checklist. God put Treehouse on our hearts and I feel led to serve there. I do miss corporate worship, but know at this season in my life, I'm doing what God is leading me to do. And, in that, I am being obedient. I, also, have realized that sometimes God is not calling me to serve...He's SCREAMING at me to come to Him, to be silent, to listen, and to do nothing!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Seek Him daily
Our Thanksgiving plans were changed for us too and at first I found myself irritated but when I stepped back and thought about it, it was becuase I was being selfish. I was going to have to cook twice now, and I was going to have to,....blah, blah, blah. Instead I should be grateful to get to spend time with just my family and then with just his family. Plus, Tina and her kids would have been left out and that's not fair to them either. I think what bothers me most is it is an inconvenience to me when plans are changed but I am learning to let it go. It gets easier but it's still hard.
I am working on seeking him daily. When I wake up in the morning, I try to spend the first few minutes, while I am in the shower even, praying about my day and asking Him to prepare me for the day and to help me take advantage of the opportunities He gives me that day. Many mornings by the time we get out the door and in the car I have found myself irritated and yelling at the kids becuase we just can't get out the door. Some days I feel so bad about the way I have treated my kids that I just want to cry and one morning it hit me, I need to pray, out loud, in front of the kids, and ask for forgiveness for my attitude. So now, every morning on the way to school, we pray for our day together. It really helps me put things in perspective.
I am a planner too. I don't know if it is becuase I want to be in control or not. I think I am okay with knowing this is what He wants me to do and not knowing what will come of it. I realize I can not see the big picture. I have to remind myself often of that. I think it is more that if I have a task or tasks to accomplish, I need to make a list and plan out the best way to get it all accomplished. Maybe that is a control issue and I am in denial.
When I was asked to consider taking over as coordinator for MOPS I was terrified. It was totally out of my comfort zone and I did not feel qualified. The more I prayed about it the more I realized if I was going to grow spiritually, I had to get out of my comfort zone and trust that if He was calling me to it, He would equip me to do the task. It was such a faith builder for me because there have been so many times that I have had to totally depend on God to work out the details and He has done just that and it is always way better than I ever could have done.
There are many other times I can think of when we gave control over to God and it worked out so much better than I could have ever imagined. When Benjie wasn't sure if he wanted to stay and B&R or not. Our prayer was if this is where we are supposed to be, then give us a peace about it and if it's not, open the doors for us. After months of prayer, we had a complete peace that this is where we were to be. WOW...I never imagined the opportunities He would give us to serve Him and share His love in such a rough environment.
I have been praying for months about whether or not we are to have more children. My prayer has been that if I am not to have more children to take the desire away and if I am, to change Benjie's heart. Out of the blue one night, Benjie told me if I wanted more, he was okay with it. WOW...I was blown away! Now I have a house full of kids and Ashley tells me, maybe this is the answer to your prayer.
"As I follow Jesus one day at a time, He will keep me in the center of God's will." I have to seek Him daily. If I am doing that, I will be able to see Him at work around me and join Him. I often feel quilty for not having a set aside quiet time but a mentor told me, at this stage in my life, with preschoolers, it shouldn't be something else on my list, as long as I am spending time with God on a daily basis and communicating with Him, I don't need to worry about a designated time period for quiet time. Eventually, I will get to that point. So I just try to keep an ongoing conversation going all day.
Well, I was a little intimidated by this whole blog thing. I didn't think I would have anything to say and here I rambled on and on.
I am working on seeking him daily. When I wake up in the morning, I try to spend the first few minutes, while I am in the shower even, praying about my day and asking Him to prepare me for the day and to help me take advantage of the opportunities He gives me that day. Many mornings by the time we get out the door and in the car I have found myself irritated and yelling at the kids becuase we just can't get out the door. Some days I feel so bad about the way I have treated my kids that I just want to cry and one morning it hit me, I need to pray, out loud, in front of the kids, and ask for forgiveness for my attitude. So now, every morning on the way to school, we pray for our day together. It really helps me put things in perspective.
I am a planner too. I don't know if it is becuase I want to be in control or not. I think I am okay with knowing this is what He wants me to do and not knowing what will come of it. I realize I can not see the big picture. I have to remind myself often of that. I think it is more that if I have a task or tasks to accomplish, I need to make a list and plan out the best way to get it all accomplished. Maybe that is a control issue and I am in denial.
When I was asked to consider taking over as coordinator for MOPS I was terrified. It was totally out of my comfort zone and I did not feel qualified. The more I prayed about it the more I realized if I was going to grow spiritually, I had to get out of my comfort zone and trust that if He was calling me to it, He would equip me to do the task. It was such a faith builder for me because there have been so many times that I have had to totally depend on God to work out the details and He has done just that and it is always way better than I ever could have done.
There are many other times I can think of when we gave control over to God and it worked out so much better than I could have ever imagined. When Benjie wasn't sure if he wanted to stay and B&R or not. Our prayer was if this is where we are supposed to be, then give us a peace about it and if it's not, open the doors for us. After months of prayer, we had a complete peace that this is where we were to be. WOW...I never imagined the opportunities He would give us to serve Him and share His love in such a rough environment.
I have been praying for months about whether or not we are to have more children. My prayer has been that if I am not to have more children to take the desire away and if I am, to change Benjie's heart. Out of the blue one night, Benjie told me if I wanted more, he was okay with it. WOW...I was blown away! Now I have a house full of kids and Ashley tells me, maybe this is the answer to your prayer.
"As I follow Jesus one day at a time, He will keep me in the center of God's will." I have to seek Him daily. If I am doing that, I will be able to see Him at work around me and join Him. I often feel quilty for not having a set aside quiet time but a mentor told me, at this stage in my life, with preschoolers, it shouldn't be something else on my list, as long as I am spending time with God on a daily basis and communicating with Him, I don't need to worry about a designated time period for quiet time. Eventually, I will get to that point. So I just try to keep an ongoing conversation going all day.
Well, I was a little intimidated by this whole blog thing. I didn't think I would have anything to say and here I rambled on and on.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Jesus is the Way - My plans are not always the Way!
I'm kind of combining Days 1 and 2 for this post - Day 2 ended by saying to recognize God at work around me. Well, I'm definitely seeing that this week, but it goes back to to the teaching in Day 1. You know, I'm a planner... I have a need to be in control. Day 1 really focused on not always knowing the plans, but trusting and walking by God's side through each moment of each day.
I think it all really began a couple of weeks ago when I was talking with someone who's married to a man who makes NO plans. He is a solid Christian man, but just is what I would of called spontaneous. So God has really put this situation on my mind alot - thinking how in the world can you live like that...
But, it looks like I'm having to go without plans in what is going to be an extremely stressful holiday season. Here's an example - we don't know what exactly we're doing for Thanksgiving tomorrow. My "plans" were changed for me and now I don't know what time we're supposed to be where. I'm just waiting for someone to tell me and I'm handling the best I can.
So what I do with all of this? I think I have to look at this idea that God does not change (Malachi 3:6) and put it all together with "Seeking first his kingdom..." (Mathew 6:33). I don't think it's saying "Don't ever make plans..." I think what's it's saying is don't let your plans get in the way of God's will. I do think I get wrapped up in my own "plans" and then when somehting comes along to change them, I become frustrated, angry...or I miss an opportunity to serve someone else, or I just miss seeing God at work.
I think it all really began a couple of weeks ago when I was talking with someone who's married to a man who makes NO plans. He is a solid Christian man, but just is what I would of called spontaneous. So God has really put this situation on my mind alot - thinking how in the world can you live like that...
But, it looks like I'm having to go without plans in what is going to be an extremely stressful holiday season. Here's an example - we don't know what exactly we're doing for Thanksgiving tomorrow. My "plans" were changed for me and now I don't know what time we're supposed to be where. I'm just waiting for someone to tell me and I'm handling the best I can.
So what I do with all of this? I think I have to look at this idea that God does not change (Malachi 3:6) and put it all together with "Seeking first his kingdom..." (Mathew 6:33). I don't think it's saying "Don't ever make plans..." I think what's it's saying is don't let your plans get in the way of God's will. I do think I get wrapped up in my own "plans" and then when somehting comes along to change them, I become frustrated, angry...or I miss an opportunity to serve someone else, or I just miss seeing God at work.
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